Writing course

Writing（ライティング）
このコースはあらかじめ自分で作成した英文を先生にメールし、先生が添削後、それをもとにdiscussionするというスタイルです。なぜこの表現ではだめなのか、もっと適切な表現方法は何かをレッスン中にdiscussionします。このコースでは先生サイドでも添削に時間を要しますので、文字数の制限（上限が250単語です）と、1レッスン時間が5分短縮されます。授業開始30分前に添削原稿をお送りいたします。

Writingコースの流れと事例紹介

英文を作成して、少なくとも前日までに先生に送ります。テーマは自由です。先生に出題してもらうこともあります。この事例では「Movies」について作成しました。
1レッスンでの上限は250単語です。250から500単語の場合は、2レッスンでのご予約をお願いいたします。（Microsoft Wordなどに文字カウント機能がありますので、そのような方法でチェックしましょう。）

Topic: Movies
I enjoy watching movies in my free time. I like to go to the theater but I don't have enough time to do so because I have two children and no one takes care of them except my husband. Our parents live far away from us.
So I watch them on DVDs. I sometimes buy DVDs if I love them very much and I want to watch them many times. But most of them that I watch are rent from rental shops.
I love action movies very much especially spy movies like 007 series and Mission Impossible series. I had never watched romance movies until I watched Bridget Jones's Diary. It was the first romance movie that I watched.
At first, I crushed on Hugh Grant. He was a great actor. Then I watched his all movies such as Notting Hill, Two Weeks Notice and About a Boy.
And also I like reading books very much. So I wanted to read "Pride and Prejudice" because Bridget Jones's Diary was written on the base of it. The author, Helen Fielding, she loved BBC drama produced "Pride and Prejudice." The hero of this novel is Mr.Darcy and he was acted by Colin Firth. So he played the role of Mark Darcy in "Bridget Jones's Diary."
It was very challenging but I tried to do it. When I finished reading it, I decided to buy DVD of BBC drama because it wasn't rent in Japan. If I want to watch it, there's no way to buy it.
It was expensive but I bought it. And then I had no idea but I crushed on Colin Firth.
If you haven't watched "Pride and Prejudice" produced by BBC, I highly recommend you to watch it.

評価は下記の4段階で評価されます。

RATINGS:

授業開始30分前には、添削原稿をお送りいたします。下記のような評価結果と解説が送られてきます。

RATINGS:　*** GOOD
REVIEW:
PARAGRAPH 1
1st sentence ("going to theaters" is much better )
2nd sentence .(Sentence is made up of four subordinating clauses, too long compound complex sentence)
3rd sentence (It is unclear,do you expect your parents to take care of your kids?)
PARAGRAPH 2
This sentence is correct but I change it to simpler statements. But most of them that I watch are rent (the word "rent" must be omitted because the word "rental shop" is used)
PARAGRAPH 3
I had never watched (present perfect should be used)romance movies (romantic movies is better)until I watched Bridget Jones's Diary. It was the first romance movie that I watched.( In this paragraph the tenses don't agree with each other)
PARAGRAPH 4
1st sentence I crushed on Hugh Grant(have/has/had a crush on is the correct phrase)
2nd sentence ( word order " all comes before his" his is possessive pronoun which modifies The word "movies")

EDITED:
　Watching movies is what I enjoy in my free time.Going to a theater is a lot of fun.
I have to take care of my two children so I dont have much time to go see a movie.
I sometimes have to buy DVDs or rent them from a rental shop.

　I am crazy about movies especially the action ones. I love Mission Impossible and James Bond's movie series.Recently, I watched the movie entitled " Bridget Jones' Diary". It was such a wonderful romantic movie. I was not into romantic movies before but watching Hugh Grant in this movie was absolutely amazing.
I think I had a crush on him the first time I saw him in that movie. I thought he was such a great actor, he played his role well. I watched some of his romantic movies like "Notting Hill", "Two Weeks Notice", and " About A Boy".

　I also like reading books very much. I did read the book entitled "Pride and Prejudice". The movie "Bridget Jones' Diary" was patterned from it so I love it. The author of the book, Helen Fielding, loved BBC produced drama " Pride and Prejudice". In the novel, Mr Darcy is the main character and is acted by Colin Firth. Colin Firth played the role of Mr.Darcy in the movie "Bridget Jones' Diary". I read the book and I found it challenging. After I finished reading it, I decided to buy the DVD copy because I couldn't rent it. The DVD copy was expensive but I had to buy it. I have a crush on Colin Firth because of that movie. I’m sure you would love to watch that movie drama, so if you haven't watched it yet I recommend that you get a copy and enjoy it.

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